Forget the wheelchair for a second … Apparently I had never learned how to be in a proper relationship. However, something inside me called him back and said yes. A simple mission you may say … A ridiculously irresponsible mission others may comment … A wildly insane mission yet others may respond. Subscribe to PUSHLiving's newsletters so you never miss out on new features, podcasts, travel opportunities, news or fabulous items for your Wheelchair Lifestyle.
Well, I decided to approach life with different mentality for the last several months before my surgery … I wanted to have party time. He would bring me little treats, trinkets, sweet words, and intellectually stimulating conversation. We talked for hours yes of course there was some making out still… We are only human :- I really did not want a boyfriend generally in life because I was still on a mission to explore my sexuality being paralyzed.
Well, to my pleasant surprise, he visited me in the ICU several days after my surgery with flowers, teddy bears, plenty of kisses, and a giant smile. Subscribe to Our Newsletter.
Maybe he was on drugs? I had dated guys for years in the past, but I always made sure I had 1 foot out the door as a defense mechanism. My boyfriend completely turn this around for me, and, essentially, taught me how to love.
Facebook Instagram Mail. They all understood and said that when I get better give them a call and we can all get together. I think some of my caregivers at the time thought I had lost my mind, but for the first time in so long I simply did not care what anybody else thought. I literally could not believe my ears … Did they even make men like that anymore? Over a year and a half later we are still going strong. He called me on the phone and formally asked if I would be his girlfriend. I was prepared for this. I ed up for online dating and two days later I met a guy through a friend, and we started dating pretty seriously right off the bat.
As the months rolled on we really started to build a bond with one another and it was a completely new and unexpected feeling for me in life.
I went through my first surgery for that pressure sore and it did not turn out well for me. Prior to my accident I always enjoyed exploring new things, taking adventures, try new foods, backpacking in the most remote areas around the world, and sampling men too!
Caring for the paralyzed
Several days before the surgery I still could not make up my mind if I was going to let him hang around or not. When I broke my neck I went through a myriad of medical nightmares for almost 5 straight years in a row. So, what did I do next? Anyway, he continued to visit me every few days in the hospital for weeks on end until I returned home where I was then confined to a specialized bed for many months.
She has now embarked on her newest endeavor, aptly named, Quirky Quad Diaries here on PUSHLiving in which she will delve more into sexuality, dating, and generally sassy life adventures.
There were so many things for me to learn and figure out that he really was a great guy to help me through the process over the course of seven months. To me, it was the most fun, wild and exciting thing I could think to do before I went under the knife once again for a seventh time in six years.
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I started doing the calculations in my head of what I wanted the last several months of my life to look like just in case things went completely sideways with surgery or if I died. I was allowed up and down for a few hours here and there, but I was pretty much bedbound. Needless to say, men were the last thing my mind as survival was the only thought I was engaging in on a daily basis.
However, somehow growing up men seem to be applauded for the amount of women they sleep with, but it is highly frowned upon for women to engage in similar activities. This was probably not the ideal way for your new boyfriend to meet your family. When I move back from China in the summer of I woke up one morning and decided to just start dating. I was so startled I actually hung up the phone on him.
I had always been with the wrong kind of guy my entire life, so clearly I was not accustomed to a gentleman.
I kid you not. I hesitantly agreed, but I was happy to just have the fun memory. I had been so responsible for so many years on end and I was exhausted by myself.
I called to break up with him and he would not let me. So, there you have it … I had a mission to explore my sexuality by sleeping with as many men as I could get my little paws on before a potentially life altering surgery, and I ended up falling in love. To make a long story short I was going to need surgery again, a major flap surgery, which was going to confine me to bed without being able to move for many months.
Spinal cord injury sexuality: how i (unexpectedly) fell in love
I had to reassess my goals and this is what I came up with! He was my first sexual partner since my accident. I am often asked how I fell in love with my boyfriend and many folks are generally shocked when I tell them the reality of how our relationship came to be. Ali Ingersoll is a delightful and beautiful young woman who is famous for her China Quad Diaries where she documented her fascinating trek to China for spinal surgery that would not be attempted in the United States. Sleep with as many guys as I could in order to explore my spinal cord injury sexuality before it might be too late.
I ended up with a giant 4 cm hole right over my tailbone. For many different reasons our relationship did not last, but we parted ways as friends.
My online dating mission
About the Author Latest Posts. Several months prior to our breakup I developed my major pressure sore on my tailbone, which landed me in bed for a ridiculous amount of time. I made all my preparations and the only thing left to do was to break up with all my men. My now boyfriend was one of these gentlemen callers. He told me he wanted to get to know me the old-fashioned way by talking. Was he from another planet?
Finally the time came when I received my surgery date and I had several weeks left to go. Ali, who loves to make people laugh, likes to do things "just for the story", and "even if this is a terrible idea, remember it is for the story! Best case scenario I would be back up in my chair in five months and worst-case scenario if everything went wrong I would be bedbound for another two years.
He just kept coming back … I was still in amazement.