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I was truly grateful for what I was able to do. Indiscretion: As a caregiver, you will most likely spend plenty of time with your aging or ailing parent. When my parents were both hospitalized, I kept a spreheet of all the things I needed to do for them.
We were all caring for our parents in our own best ways. They have enough to worry about and do not need the guilt, worry and stress that comes from knowing family rifts are forming.
And when you are the caregiver, you need to take care of your self — mentally, physically, and emotionally. She needs someone to talk to.
If that is the case, you are in charge. And who was I to expect everyone else would work the same way I did?
Value it. This shift in how I thought about my responsibilities was huge for me.
Find a friend, a spouse, an online support group to vent to. When one of my siblings would tell me they needed to take a break from our family crisis to buy groceries or do laundry it would make me crazy. The Truth About Siblings and Caregiving. Weigh it.
I am great at execution. There were items on the list at one point. Unable at the time to seek the help of a professional therapist due to time and money constraints, I had to find a way to deal with my feelings.
What matters is how you handle it. I could feel the effect my resentment was having on me and I knew it was only going to make me sick or permanently damage relationships I wanted to preserve. My sisters are much, much better in those areas than I am.
Do not unload on the person who requires care. How lucky I was that I had the strength, stamina, resources and organizational skills to handle our family crisis. You need to trust yourself. Sometimes your parents choose you and sometimes geography does.
Mother's day wishes, quotes, images to shared with your mother
I do my research, prepare my questions, and ask for what I need. I have mad Google skills. Beware these four traps: resentment, wishful thinking, indecision and indiscretion. Couple that with my assertiveness and I am often the best person to ask questions of oncologists, negotiate assisted living leases, lead meetings with the eldercare attorney. But, you are not caring for them. Own it.
So it would have been wishful thinking to ask them to take on some of my tasks and expect they would handle them the way I would. And during those interactions you may be tired, stressed, and frustrated with your siblings. The four traps of caregiving with siblings.
We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Your parents gave you the role because they trusted you.
Plus I had my. Plus I had my full-time job.
Someone else needs to do that. Wishful thinking: Even though I learned to be thankful for my role, my husband did not. And I meant it. One way to avoid indecision while also avoiding alienating family members is to take a high input low democracy approach. And then make your best decision.