Sometimes I am Stupid.

I have planned a number of entries for this blog over the last two weeks:

– A recap of Mr. Beez’ and my visit to the Big Harvest Potluck

-Sharing a piece of writing I did at the Big Harvest Potluck that I was exceptionally pleased with

-A recap of my participation in the Army 10 Miler

-A recap of recent re-visits to Cure and Spoon

And a few other miscellaneous things. You’ll notice, however, that for about a week, I have flat out failed to post. This is because I am stupid.

I’ve been told time and time again that being tired, being stressed, and failing to adequately care for oneself can lead to getting sick. I am, however, stubbornly of the “Oh well, I’ll just muscle through it” mindset. Also, and this is completely ridiculous, when I’m feeling sick I am always in denial about it. I tell myself that I’m not really sick, but rather I’m just being lazy and complaining, and need to get my butt in gear.

So even though I felt sick enough that I had to come home from work early on the Friday before the Army 10 Miler, I still told myself “I’m just tired,” and pushed myself through that race. And then I took a week off from running because of my mother-in-law’s death, but still didn’t feel well. Then this week, I still didn’t feel well, but told myself that I was just lazy, and again made myself run. Finally, on Thursday, I hauled my butt to the Doctor’s, because a persistent cough for 2 weeks just didn’t seem right, and learned I actually am sick. It’s just bronchitis, and I have a whole mountain of medications now. But now after two weeks of yelling at myself that I’m just being lazy, and feeling a very brief moment of vindication at the doctor’s office at having a real diagnosis, I’m back at telling myself that I’m an idiot because if I had just rested and taken it easy when I first started feeling sick, maybe I would have gotten better much more quickly in the first place.

In any event, I worked from home today and never got out of my pajamas. And I plan to get some rest in over the weekend. Even though my next 10 miler race is only a few weeks away, I think it will be OK. I’ve got to get better anyway, since I certainly can’t run in this state, feeling like I’ve got an anvil sitting on my chest. For now, rest, water, soup, antibiotics, inhaler, trashy TV. But pretty soon, it looks like I’ll be back at it.

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