I’m extremely outgoing in a crowd of friends, but a crowd of strangers is endlessly terrifying to me. I love to get to know people, but that initial hurdle of jumping into the crowd and making introductions leaves me a frazzled mess. There’s also inevitably some baggage in me feeling like everyone already knows each other (not true, I know), as well as me feeling left out from seeing lots of tweets about cool looking sponsor hosted, invite-only events to which I am never invited (which makes sense, because I don’t work with brands, those parties aren’t a popularity contest, they’re a business transaction in an industry I am not engaged in).  This all sounds terrible and frightening and why on earth would I put myself in that?  Today was Day 1 of BlogHer Food, and you know what, it was FANTASTIC.

I went into the conference with a new pair of sunglasses and a new attitude. That made such a difference.  I abandoned the notion that I had to meet some imaginary quota of business cards exchanged, or that I needed to spend every available moment networking-networking-networking.  I went back to basics, and thought about why I was there: to learn content and meet people. And I thought about how I do best with meeting people: in small, focused settings.

Instead of worrying about working the big crowd, I focused my attention on chatting with people sharing a table with me. And when people wandered off to the exhibit halls or wherever they might go, I also wandered the exhibit hall, and also spent a little time reading a book I’ve been loving.  I met people and had nice conversations, but was not so over-eager as to force myself into the time-filling, crowd wandering small talk that makes me nervous and miserable.

Lesson number one for Workin It at BlogHer Food: Don’t force yourself to do what you think you “should” do, instead focus on doing what makes you comfortable.

The content of this conference has been fabulous.  I started the day off with a knife skills workshop with James Beard award-winning chef Hank Shaw.  He was funny and clever and approachable.  It turns off that my skills aren’t too terrible, I just need to keep my knives SHARP and practice, practice practice.

Also, I learned how to fillet a fish, which is interesting, because if you put a whole fish in front of me before this session, I probably would have just smacked it around with a cleaver.

Next up I attended a session on storytelling through visuals, which wound up focusing more on just content itself, but was a totally awesome session. Afterward I was chatting with one of the panelists about Pinterest (because I have exactly zero traffic driven to my site from Pinterest) and I came to the completely EMBARASSING realization that the reason why people get traffic to their blog from Pinterest is because people pin their own blog pictures, and ta-da on the picture DIRECTS PEOPLE TO THEIR BLOG.  You know what I’ve been using Pinterest for this ENTIRE TIME? Pinning Nordstrom dresses. Usually on a quiet Saturday night, with a glass of whine, while Mr. Beez watches some Sci Fi movie on the TV. Pinterest- yr doin it WRONG!  At least now I know how to do it right.

The third session I attended was a heartwarming session all about telling stories through food. This went beyond the basic restaurant review and recipe posting approaches, and dealt with using food as a jumping-off point for more substantive content.

The panelists had heartwarming stories of sharing their families’ histories and traditions through foodblogging. At first I worried this would be an empty well for me.  We do have family dishes, but I feel like the connection isn’t as deep as it might be.  Then the panelists started talking about how there’s no contest in “authenticity”– that every food connection is your own history, and is just as valid as any other history.  My inspiration blossomed. I thought about things like the Mario Bros ice cream pops I ate as a kid, and realized that even though I may not have a three-generations old tattered recipe card, there are a bounty of food connections in my life that provide for ample inspiration.

Lesson Number Two for Workin’ it at BlogHer Food:  Dig deep into the things that have drawn you there.

I was deeply and eagerly involved in the sessions, over the networking component, and gained tremendously because of it.

I ended up skipping the afternoon keynote because it seemed to focus more on the business side of blogging, and that’s not really my thing.  I also wanted to see Mr. Beez for a couple minutes. And I had a huge bag of swag to drag back to my hotel (because the Hilton would not let me check it with their doorman, but that is a customer service faux pas to complain about another day).  So I wandered back to my hotel to rest up and see the husband.

I had a few moments anxiety about tonight’s around-the-town excursion. I don’t know anyone! And I’ll be going out in a big crowd of strangers! And it will be awkward and uncomfortable!  But I had an epiphany….

Lesson Number Three for Workin’ it at BlogHer Food: Take what you want, leave what you don’t.

So if I didn’t go out with this crowd of people I don’t know tonight, what would I be doing? I’d be checking out the scene (probably by myself, because Mr. Beez has his own activities with his conference) on 6th street. And if I go to this excursion, what will I be doing? Checking out this crowd on 6th Street.  I’ve learned to become comfortable with moseying up to a bar and having a drink or two on my own, so what would be the difference if I do that, or if I do the same thing with a big group of people? Maybe I’ll actually get a little more social and chat up more people. Or if not, at least I will have been directed to some good watering holes. I’m going to take it for the opportunity it presents, and not stress over the rest of it. And have some good beers.

Did I overcome my apprehension of wandering into a huge crowd of people I don’t know? Nope. But by realigning my attitude and priorities, I’ve turned a normally nervewracking situation into a lovely day.